The Sunday Mind: Sex for Minors?

If you've seen one of my fairly recent tweets (shameless plug here: follow me on Twitter!), you'll know that I really wish I could write incredible, thought provoking opinion pieces. It's not that I don't have the opinions, I just don't think I have the technical skill that many wonderful writers do, to write something that is worded wonderfully and gets people thinking.

Anyway, I've decided to write my thoughts out - no recipes or reviews, just general thoughts I had - in the hopes of figuring out a writing style for opinion pieces. *EDIT* After writing some thoughts out, I've realized what a rambly writer I am so I'm going to break it down, one thought at a time. Here's what's been on my mind lately:

The Ontario Sex-Ed Curriculum. If you live in Ontario (or maybe anywhere in Canada), you'll know there's been a huge fuss on the new sex-ed curriculum. The plan is to start sex-ed teachings from grade 1, a decision many parents think is unsuitable. Here's why I'm confused as to why parents oppose it (and correct me if I have any facts wrong):

1. The curriculum will be age appropriate. In grade 1 students will learn the correct names for body parts, grade 3 will teach students about sexual orientation and gender, etc. I don't understand what's inappropriate about that - they're not tossing Karma Sutra at the kids and telling them to figure it out.

2. I think it's great teaching kids about sexual orientation and transgendered people will make them more broad-minded and tolerant. I hope it reduces bullying and suicide of LGBTQ.

3. I also love the fact that consent will be a topic. A lot of people I've spoken to says consent and values like that should be taught at home from parents; the problem is consent isn't been spoken about at home. I think parents assume their sons and daughters understand consent and respecting others but it's not an easy assumption to make. While I'm sure most parents don't teach their kids to rape or assault, they're not teaching them to not do such things either. If consent was stressed at home, there would be fewer cases of rape and assault. But that's not the case and I don't blame parents for not explicitly teaching their children so, I just think it's time they start.

4. I've also heard that parents have the choice for their children to opt-out of the class so why can't people just do that? I personally think that people just don't understand what the curriculum offers and at which ages. I'm curious to see all opinions so comment below on why you're for or against the curriculum!

Have you heard about this curriculum change? What are your thoughts on it? What's been on your mind lately - comment below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe!

STWW: Body Acne (and how to get rid of it!)

Here's a little story about something I've had for years and years that I was always so shy about: Bacne. It's not a "pretty" topic but it is common and human and natural so I thought why not share my story if it helps someone out.

I had fairly bad breakouts on my back for many years which I hated. As I got older, the frequency of these breakouts reduced (not by very much) but the scarring was still prominent. I was always so shy about wearing tank tops or strapless tops and wouldn't unless I wore my hair down to hide my back.

Around six years ago I made a decision that I wouldn't let something on my body affect me so negatively and started not caring about my scars and bacne - writing it out sounds silly, like I'm making it a bigger deal than it is but, back then, it was a huge deal to me. After appreciating my body for the wonderful things it does for me, rather than hating something small like scarring, I decided to take action on my breakouts. I visited a doctor who prescribed an acne cream for me. I did this for a few weeks and, while it worked, the second I stopped, my back would break out again. It was also incredibly drying on my skin and the chemicals would bleach my clothes. I spoke to a friend who had done research on this and she recommended something that's so easy and that I use everyday and swear by.

Head and Shoulders. That's it. Or any dandruff shampoo, really. I use it in place of a body wash - it's enough to combat my acne without drying my skin and I've used it for a few years now and love it. I break out much less frequently and my scars are gradually fading (though this isn't because of the shampoo). I also don't use a moisturizer on my back as I don't want the oils and chemicals to irritate my skin. This is the most effective thing I've used without drying my skin or bleaching my clothes.

Is body breakouts an issue for you? Write any products/ways to reduce body breakouts (and if you use Head and Shoulders) in the comments below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe!

STWW: Just a Funny Story

Just a quick, funny story this STWW - hopefully it brings a little laughter in your day!

I had a recent, summer epiphany to try and bake a s'mores brownie pie. I bought the graham crackers, the brownie ingredients and halal marshmallows (I'm Muslim and this uses either a fish, vegetable or cow gelatine, unlike the usual pork gelatine - similar to Kosher marshmallows) and set out the rest of the day to test this recipe, bake a brownie pie and take some photos for the blog.

I made the pie and added the final touches: the marshmallows, ready for browning! I set the oven to broil, didn't think I'd need a timer since it would only be in for a minute and turned my back to the oven, to check my emails.

A quick backstory: I'm forgetful. I'll put water to boil for tea and forget I'd wanted tea in the first place. When my mom asks me to make something and, much later, asks if it's done, my first response is "Oh yeah!" as I rush to start the task. I'll pop something in the oven and only remember it's done when I smell burnt food.

Two minutes later, my brother asked "is something burning?". I spun around to see my pie on fire. I began freaking out and asking my mom to call 911. She told me to keep the oven closed and get away while she called in. Being a chemical engineer, I should have remembered that all I needed to do was suffocate the fire (ie keep the oven closed) and fire would extinguish itself. In my frantic state, I forgot and and panicked.

One minute later, the fire was out (of course) but it was too late, the fire truck was on it's way. Two minutes, two fire trucks, one cop car and five firemen later, my home was filled with giant men in fireproof gear investigating a fire that no longer existed. All they found was a very black pie and a very embarrassed woman.

I was so incredibly embarrassed but thankfully they were so nice about it and told me I did the right thing. Tip: try not to use a fire extinguisher in  your oven because it damages the oven beyond repair.                                            
                

So this STWW: remember to use a timer! Share your funny baking stories below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe!

STWW: Little Things

A few weeks (months?) back I did a STWW post on being grateful. Here are ten little things that I'm grateful for (summer edition!): 

1. Driving with the sunroof of your car open and windows down
2. Wearing sandals
3. Floral/Maxi dresses (or dresses in general!)
4. The smell of freshly cut grass 
5. Evening walks
6. Ice cream on a warm day
7. Bonfires and S'mores
8. Exploring Downtown Toronto
9. Hikes with my friends
10. Long days (words I'll be regretting once Ramadan comes round and I'll be fasting 19+ hour days!)

What are things you're grateful for this summer? Comment below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe! Also, don't forget to enter my $200 Dixie Outlet Mall Giftcard giveaway here!

STWW: Crispy Chocolate Bites

It's not often I share recipes on the blog, mainly because I can't write instructions to save my life. However, these healthy chocolate bites are so good, I just had to share. Inspired by a lovely Cadbury product that I can't seem to find anywhere, I took the liberty of "recreating" it, making it healthier for the sake of my health and guilty conscience. So here is my recipe for what I call, Crispy Chocolate Bites.

The best part of the recipe is all that's required for the "base" is chocolate, cornflakes and raisins. Anything else you can add for health and taste. I made mine healthy by using dark chocolate and adding dried blueberries and cranberries, pumpkin seeds and pistachios to the cornflakes and raisins. I would also recommend coconut flakes if you have some lying around (and by that I mean hygienically stored in a container of sorts).

Unfortunately I measure using the "that looks about right" method so I can't share any specific measurements for you but any combination of ingredients should be fine as long as you have enough chocolate to coat it all

First off, melt some chocolate in a double boiler - I boiled some water in a small saucepan, lowered the heat so it was simmering and put a glass bowl of chocolate on top of the open pan as a makeshift double boiler. Once the chocolate has melted and is smooth, add your cornflakes, raisins, nuts, seeds and, really, whatever you want. Ideally, there should be more cornflakes than anything to put the "Crispy" in the "Crispy Chocolate Bites". Then gently fold the mixture through to coat everything in chocolate. All that's left is to spoon bite-size pieces out and leave them on tray with parchment paper (or a any nonstick sheet, I got mine from Ikea) and pop that into the fridge. They should cool within ten minutes, at which point you can store them in an airtight tin for a week or two. (Disclaimer: dark chocolate doesn't melt at room temperature so I was able to store them in a cupboard. There's a great chance this will happen if you use milk chocolate so store it in the fridge if you do so).

That's it. Super easy, super tasty and, depending on your ingredients, super healthy! I used a lot of chocolate so it became a healthy dessert rather than a snack but feel free to customize it your own way!

Have you tried the Cadbury cornflake concoction? If so, please leave the name below, it's been bugging me for weeks! Let me know if you try out this recipe, comment below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe!

Cleansers

Following up with my STWW post on using less tissues, I know a lot of people use makeup remover wipes which is not only bad for the environment, but not good for your skin either. Aside from requiring more than one wipe to get the make up off your face, they take up time and don't do a thorough job. So here are some effective make up removers that help your skin and the environment.

The Ultrabland Cleanser by Lush was my very first review on this blog. The cleanser is probably the priciest one of the lot and it's due to the mostly natural ingredients. Ultrabland did a good job of removing make up and keeping the skin hydrated though, in my opinion, the hydration was a little bit much for my oily-combo skin. At first I would just think my skin is unclean before realizing that it was just incredibly moisturized. It's something I would repurchase for its technical performance and the fact that it's all natural but the price tag is too high for me (considering what's coming up next).

The Pond's Cold Cream Cleanser is something I mentioned in my February Favourites. It's a wonder, you rub some on your dry face and wipe off with a washcloth. This leaves your face feeling so moisturized and clean and I can't get enough of it. I tend to use it for when I wear my daily, light makeup as I don't need a heavy duty cleanser - I've used it on heavy make up but it doesn't pack as much punch as my next product.

The Muji Sensitive Skin Cleansing Oil is a surprising find and very quickly became a favourite. I'm on my second bottle already, this stuff is magic! I rub the oil over my dry face and rinse off and it leaves my skin squeaky clean with no traces of make up in site! One complaint is that it is a little drying but it's nothing a moisturizer can't fix. I'm not giving this bad boy up for anything!

What are your favourite non-tissue cleansers? Why do you love them? Comment below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe! 

STWW: "Green" Products

This was originally a guest post for Workaday Ramblings (a great blog by the very lovely Sarah) last month but I thought I'd post it here since it's a great STWW. Enjoy!

In honour of St. Patrick's day, I'm talking all things green though this has a little twist to it: I tend to shy away from green coloured make up and so this will be reviews on environmentally friendly and natural (or Green) products that I use.

The first is the Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-hour Full Coverage Foundation. If you didn't know, Tarte is a cruelty-free brand that has eco-friendly packaging and supports co-operatives in the Rainforests. As an added bonus, Tarte uses natural products such as minerals, plant extracts and vitamins in their products and steers clear of parabens, phthalates and synthetic fragrances among many others. Aside from being a Green product, this foundation is winner in that it is a great foundation. It is an almost-full coverage foundation (thanks to my hyperpigmentation, some of my darker spots still need concealer and this is not very buildable), it lasts very well throughout the day even without a primer and it doesn’t feel heavy or greasy. It almost feels like a second skin which is perfect for those who want to wear foundation but hate the feeling of it. The only downside is the range of colours for the foundation is very minimal. I’m between shades so I just opted for the shade down. I find this to be the perfect foundation for long days as it is long lasting and doesn’t feel heavy while giving great coverage.

The second is a combo that I've been using for months now and really love: the Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention shampoo and Restorative conditioner. This is another cruelty-free brand which uses certified organic and ethically sourced ingredients such as Argan oil, avocado butter, coconut oil and much more. They, like Tarte, stay away from chemicals such as parabens, phthalates, paraffins which is a huge bonus. I have dry, curly hair which is damaged from dying and using hot tools on it. This combination is a miracle worker: my hair feels soft and moisturized while not greasy; it's clean without feeling stripped. While this works incredibly well for my hair, it may be heavy for those with finer or straight hair - I would recommend skipping any conditioners and using just the shampoo as it is conditioning on its own. My friend with straight, fine and limp hair uses just the shampoo and loves how much thicker and healthier her hair has gotten.

The last green product I love is St. Ives Swiss Formula Apricot Scrub Gentle. St. Ives uses 100% natural moisturizers and exfoliants such as Shea butter oil and walnut shell. A problem with a lot of exfoliants is that they use microbeads which are plastic and cannot be detected or filtered out by water treatment methods. These beads then go out into the ocean where unsuspecting sea creatures consume them and ultimately we eat these beads through seafood. Plastic microbeads are not biodegradable - they cannot be removed from the environment and they release toxins as photodegrade. Walnut shell is a natural exfoliant and this scrub is gentle for my sensitive skin. It's great for brightening up my skin on days where it looks lacklustre and so I use it twice a week.

Hope you've all enjoyed my post, comment below for any green products you like or tweet me @SundayWardrobe. Hope this inspires you to make green choices when it comes to beauty!

20 Ways to Feel Happier

It's spring! Despite the sun and the anticipation of summer, spring means exam season and it's easy to feel down when you spend all day in the library staring at your books or computer screens. Here are 20 (out of 34) things to do to make you feel happy:

1. Listen to music - fast, happy tracks, not melancholy ballads!
2. Plan a vacation - it doesn't have to be far, just give yourself something to anticipate.
3. Remind yourself of how amazing you are.
4. Work out - sweating gets those endorphins going which is great for your mood (and body).
5. Go outside.
6. Meditate
7. Read a positive message
8. Talk to someone in real life.
9. Take a cozy bath.
10. Stop to smell the (blooming) flowers.
11. Drink a glass of milk - milk contains tryptophan which helps create seritonin.
12. Go deep - have a deep conversation with someone, get to really know them.
13. Play with a puppy/kitten.
14. Send someone an email saying how much you appreciate them.
15. Get enough sleep.
16. Spend money on experiences - buy a board game and have a games night!
17. Think of happy memories.
18. Celebrate little victories - good job on studying for an exam that's still days away!
19. Count your blessings.
20. Give back, even if it's paying for someone's coffee or helping someone study.

What do you do to make yourself happy? Comment below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe. Let's spread the happiness!

STWW: One Less: Tissue

One of my biggest peeves is people using many tissues. It sounds weird but I hate when I go to a public restroom and see people pull out 5 or 6 tissues from the dispenser just to wipe their hands. Especially when I pull out one maybe two and my hands end up just as dry as theirs.

Tissues are something we don't usually think about but impact our Earth. But did you know that most of the heavily advertised tissue products are made from trees rather than recycled paper1,2? The paper manufacturing industry is the third highest industrial emitter of global warming gases1. If every household in the US replaced one roll of virgin fiber paper towels with 100% recycled ones, we could save 544 000 trees3.

A fast and simple way to start doing good for the environment is using less: use less tissues! Try pulling just one out from the dispenser and using the entire piece to wipe your hands. If your hands are still wet, grab one more (I usually find them dry enough that they air dry within a few seconds). Or at least start off with using one less tissue than you'd normally use. It sounds like a small step but if we all do it, we can all help!

Even better, start buying tissues made from recycled paper! Popular brands include: 365 (Whole Foods), CVS Earth Essentials, Trader Joe's and more, which can be found here. Brands to avoid include Bounty, Charmin and Kleenex among others.

Does this sound like an easy tip for you to pick up? What are your wasteful peeves? Comment below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe!

STWW: One Less: Plastic Bag

This issue made a buzz a few years ago when Toronto implemented a 5-cent charge on plastic bags in an attempt to reduce the number of bags being used. While this worked for a while, the charge has now been lifted and I've seen consumers go back to the convenience of plastic bags.

Plastic bags are aptly named since they're made of plastic, a substance that takes over 1000 years to break down. These bags are accumulated in landfills where they don't biodegrade, they photodegrade: the bags break down into smaller pieces that soak up toxins and then contaminate soil and waterways. Also, unsuspecting animals mistake these bags for food and die from choking on the bags or the toxins of the plastic.

It is estimated that one million plastic bags are used every minute. Each square mile of the ocean has approximately 46 000 pieces of plastic floating around. Also, 10% of plastic product ends up in the ocean, 70% of which ends up on the ocean floor where it cannot degrade. Only 0.5% to 3% of all plastic bags end up recycled.

So what can you do?

1. Reuse your plastic bags. I use any that I have at home to line rubbish bins so I don't have to wash the bins each time I empty them.
2. Recycle your plastic bags. If you have many and no use for them, recycle them. Recycling is the best way to dispose of them.
3. Use reusable bags. I keep a few in the trunk of my car and one folded in my purse in case of emergencies. This means that I'm almost never without one. Bonus: they come in really cute designs!
4. Just don't use a plastic bag. Whenever I have five or less items and I've left my reusable bags in my car, I say I don't need a plastic bag. The walk to the car is not long enough to justify using this environmental nightmare. At supermarkets I can easily take out the trolleys to my car so I opt for that and just put them in a bag once I have one. 

If more of us stop using plastic bags, it gives companies that produce them a reason to stop making plastic bags and destroying the world that we live in. 

Do you use reusable bags? How do you remember to carry them? Let me know if you have something you'd like me to write about or if I'm missing some important information by commenting below or tweeting me @SundayWardrobe!

Cute reusable bags:

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Information from: 1 / 2

STWW: Why We Still Need..

..Feminism. I read an article today which blatantly reminded me why the world needs feminism. Because men like Mukesh Singh (who is one of the convicted in a case where a 23 year old female student was raped, attacked and ultimately killed in India) still believes it is the victim's fault as she "should not have been roam[ing] around at nine o'clock at night".

My friend told me that her ex-boyfriend had often said that women shouldn't wear revealing clothes and expect men to not hit on them/harass them. This is scary because it is the same defense that rapists use - women shouldn't have dressed/walked/spoken the way they did if they didn't want to be harassed/attacked/raped.

And my response was that the problem isn't the woman or her clothes; it's the act of rape. How a woman chooses to dress her own body is up to her. It isn't an invitation for a man to treat her how he sees fit. Each person is responsible only for what they do, not for what others do to them. A woman shouldn't have to dress for how a man would react to it and, likewise, a man shouldn't act on how a woman is dressed. Women (generally) don't harass a man based on how they are dressed so why is it any different?

To put things simply, if I stole something out of an unlocked car, the problem isn't that the car was unlocked. The problem is that I stole. Likewise, don't blame the victim for doing what she wanted to do to her body, blame the person who violated her body and her rights.

What are your thoughts on the article or feminism in general? Do you think it's okay for women (and men) to be harassed based on how they are dressed? Are they "asking for it"? I'd love to know your point of view even if it's different from mine so feel free to leave a comment below or tweet me @SundayWardrobe!

Disclaimer: Before people get all #NotAllMen on me, I know all men don't blame the victim - a lot of the men I personally know believe that this is wrong. The point isn't that all men do this, the point is that all women have felt this way before.

STWW: Tips for Spending Less

It's rather ironic that I have a beauty blog that advises you to buy different products and I'm writing this post telling you to stop. But this is something I've been trying for a few months - there have been moments of weakness and lapses but, overall, I think I've been doing a pretty good job of spending less.

I would spend a lot of money on make up, food and clothes. I was addicted to online shopping (since I hate trying clothes on in-store) and it is the devil's work: shopping from the comfort of your bed is exactly what a lazy shopaholic like me needs. But my lack of savings forced me to rethink my spending habits and so here are a few tips that have helped me spend less:

1. Try to avoid malls (or don't bring your wallet): my biggest problem was that I'd go to malls with my mom "just to walk around" since it's too cold to do so outside. When I did this, I'd spend money on things I didn't need and clothes I wouldn't wear. I found that it was easy to not spend money when you literally couldn't.

2. Sleep on it: a new Forever21 opened up in our local mall and I went in a dropped quite a lot of several items. I went home and, feeling guilty about my purchases, I began to think, do I really need this? After a few nights, I realized I only needed (or really, really, really wanted) 2 out of 5 things I bought. So I went back and returned them. Having several days to mull over what you want is a good way to show that it's just a want, not a need. Before you buy something, take a couple days to think of if you really need it and you may realize that you don't.

3. Give yourself a time span: one way I began controlling my spending was setting myself a time span: I wouldn't spend money on unnecessary things for this month. After the month passed and I realized how much I'd saved, I would push it to another month. Gradually, I realized that I was capable of not spending and so, now, I don't find the need to.

4. Shop around: if you really need something (and time isn't a factor), shop around. You may find similar and cheaper products in other stores or even on Amazon and Ebay. Take your time to spend smart.

I hope these tips help you spend less and save more - it can be quite difficult but, ultimately, worth it.

Is spending less something that you'd want to try? Do you have any tips for spending less? Leave your comments down below!

STWW: The "News"

Last week, three University of North Carolina students were murdered in their condo: Deah Barakat (23), Yusor Abu Salha (21) and Razan Abu Salha (19). Deah and Yusor were newly weds and dental students, only having been married six weeks prior. They often ran workshops that provided food and dental supplies to the homeless in Durham. Deah was raising money to visit Turkey and provide dental care to the Syrian Refugees - since his death, his online fundraiser has received over $400 000 in donations. These three, innocent people were shot in their condo a little after 5 pm on Tuesday, February 10th. 

When I heard about the shooting, so many emotions ran through me. I thought that it must have been a hate crime, how could it not? Three young Muslims, including two hijabis, shot execution-style in their own home. Then, why did I read both the American and Canadian versions of the Huffington Post and not have seen this story? Why did I only hear about it when I logged onto Twitter and saw my feed chock-full of shocked, horrified and enraged tweets?

Once I got over the initial shock, I was filled with hurt and anger. Hurt that when a "Muslim" gunman killed an RCMP officer in Ottawa, it was front page news for days. Hurt that when 12 journalists were cruelly massacred in Paris, there were marches of solidarity for the victims. Hurt that no one was Deah, Yusor or Razan but the world was Charlie.

Why is it that "Muslims" (and I use this term lightly because I don't consider people who kill innocent people to be part of the Islam I know) are only on the news when they're committing heinous attacks? Why isn't the ethnic cleansing of Muslims in Burma and Sri Lanka on the news? Why wasn't this murder of three innocent souls, only 23, 21 and 19 years old, breaking news? They had only been reported on hours after their murders. I read the news multiple times a day and I hadn't seen a story on this till over 12 hours later.

I don't think any killing is more or less horrific than another. I don't think this story deserves more precedence than Charlie Hebdo, than the murders of Nathan Cirillo or Michael Brown, than the victims of ISIS. But I would think that word of a shooting would bring some attention, especially since these people were targeted for their religion. The media is still reporting this attack to be the result of a dispute over a parking space, not a hate crime - but who kills three young people over just a parking spot? Attacks by "Muslims" are so quick to be labelled as acts of terrorism and the religion is to blame while attacks by people belonging to any other religion (or none at all) are thought of as attacks by lone wolves, outliers, mentally ill individuals. Crimes in the name of religions and hate crimes are constantly highlighted in the media, why wasn't this? Don't all lives matter?

This STWW is to remind us all to be a little media savvy. This story hits close to home as I am a Muslim but it reminds me to check multiple news sources. Some of my favourites are Huffington Post, Al Jazeera, Vice, RT and Haaretz. Try to look for news sources that tend to report facts without clouding the meaning behind grammar and vocabulary (ex. using the word "died" rather than "killed" can lead to the assumption that the victim died of natural causes, rather than be a victim of murder), or present both sides of a story though articles and opinion pieces. It's important to be smart when it comes to the media to gain as much knowledge as you can, to know that the wool isn't being pulled over your eyes.

This story, like many others, make me wonder what is it that the "News" isn't reporting? What else is going on in the world that is being covered up or distorted by the media? What are we not being told?

What are your favourite news sources? Is there a story that affected you and that you feel hasn't gotten enough coverage? Post it here, I'd love to learn and read more! 

STWW: Ways to Say I Love You

Relationships are hard work. You're taking two independent, individuals with different experiences, personalities and opinions and melding them together. There will be happy and sad times, laughter and fights but nothing that love, mutual respect and compromise can't fix. While I think Valentine's day is a great way to show people you love them, it's important to show love in anyway you can everyday. I read this great article which reminds me that love isn't a four letter word and it isn't always obvious; it's a collection of actions and questions and concerns. Here are my favourites:

1. Cut your partner some slack. We all forget things, lose things, or screw things up. Why rub it in?
2. Pay attention. As in full-on and undivided. Not every minute of every day, but show up when it counts.
3. Keep two feet in, especially when things are difficult. Commitment is about staying with your challenges long enough to make things better.
4. Receive and acknowledge your partner's acts of love. The happiest couples are those who notice and respond when their partner reaches out. A thanks or a smile is all that it takes.
5. Stop a fight in its tracks. One of the most loving things you can do is stay calm when your spouse is getting worked-up.
6. Hug back. Kiss back. Smile.
7. Your spouse wants to go back to graduate school, eat more fruits and vegetables, train for a marathon. Your response: that's great!
8. Be the first one to reach out after a fight. Don't think for a minute that the first person to give ground is admitting fault. Marriage isn't a game of chicken. It takes courage and kindness to yield.
9. Make your relationship a priority. Marriage doesn't stay sweet all on its own, year after year. Have a date night, a weekend getaway, keep work hours within bounds. And for goodness sake, when you're together, turn off your phone.
10.Think your spouse deserves a standing ovation? Tell someone how talented, smart, loving, gracious she is. How patient he is with the kids. How he makes the world's best pie crust. Make sure he overhears you.

I think these are great tips to apply to your relationship at any and all stages, not just when things are fresh and new. What are your favourite tips from the article? What are tips you've learnt from your relationships?

STWW: Chocolate Chip Oatmeal

For as long as I can remember, my grandpa has been eating oatmeal for breakfast every morning (or as he says, porridge). My parents have recently gotten into it too, realizing the benefits of the grain on the human body. Oatmeal, other than being a warm, delicious breakfast is great because:

1. It's a whole grain and a source of fiber: so it lowers your risk for many diseases such as type 2 diabetes (by stabilizing blood sugar levels) and high blood pressure. It also helps lower the risk hemorrhoids and provides relief for those suffering from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)
2. It's great for weight loss: being fibrous, it keeps you full longer so you don't end up snacking or eating soon after.
3. It lowers your cholesterol: oatmeal helps lower your LDL, or your bad cholesterol, and therefore reduces your risk of cardiovascular diseases and strokes
4. It enhances your immune system: oats contain beta-glucan which enhances your immune system to respond to and eliminate bacterial infections.
*Information from: 1 / 2 / 3

We stay away from the flavoured pouches of oatmeal as they have a lot of sugar and are unhealthy. My mom makes a healthy mix of oatmeal, combining plain oats, ground almonds, raisins, a touch of brown sugar and cinnamon. I dislike cinnamon and so I've come up with a recipe that's less healthier but a lot tastier (but still healthy!).

1/2 c. Quick Oats Almond Milk Chocolate Chips 1 Banana

Put your oats in a bowl and cover with almond milk Stir your oats so all of it is coated with milk Heat up your oats in the microwave in 30 second intervals for 1.5 minutes, stirring in between. If you heat it all at once, it will explode! You can add your chocolate chips while you heat it or all at the end, stirring them in to distribute the chocolate Slice your banana and add on top!

I also make this for my little brother who loves it - adding chocolate to most things make for delicious food. I hope this inspires you to eat this healthy grain, dressing it up with anything from chocolate to fruits and nuts - get creative with your breakfast!

How do you eat your oatmeal? If you don't eat oatmeal, what food do you generally eat for breakfast?

STWW: The F Word

I am a Feminist. I am not a lesbian, I do not hate men or marriage and I do not burn bras (here). By definition, I want to "to define, establish, and defend equal political, economic, cultural, and social rights for women". I am a feminist because I believe that all humans, men and women, deserve equal rights. 

I became a feminist when I learnt about and began recognizing the blatant biases that women face at school, work and in life. I was blissfully ignorant and accepting of the way women were (and are) being treated and oppressed. I thought it was just the way things were and that was that. I even once stupidly told my male friend (a feminist too) that women shouldn't dress provocatively and then get offended when men leer and hit on them. 

Before I get into why the world needs feminists, I want to dispel some stereotypes about feminism and help clear this unfair and bad rap the word seems to have:

• Feminists are man-haters and/or think that women are better than men: feminists are against the gender discrimination that women face, which has been taught to and easily accepted by both men and women. They don't think women are better than men, they think women are just as good as men which, unfortunately, is a concept that not everyone has grasped. Giving rights to women doesn't take away the rights of men.
• Only women can be feminists: this would mean that only women can and should care about equal rights. This is entirely wrong, the feminist that introduced me to feminism is a man (a 23 year old, 6'1" football playing engineer).  
• There is no sexism and so there is no need for feminism: if this were true, why are women that have the same jobs as men paid less? Why are female victims of sexual assault so afraid to report the perpetrators? Why are women who are raped blamed for the clothes they wore? Why are women judged for how they look rather than what they say? These things still occur so that must mean that feminism is still needed.

For more stereotypes on feminism, see here.

What are your opinions on feminists and feminism? Are you a feminist? Why/why not?

STWW: 5 Small Things

If you're reading this post, that means you own a computer, iPad, phone or some sort of electronic device. And, for this, you should consider yourself incredibly lucky. Things we take for granted around us, whether it be our homes, our clothes, our families or our health, are things others may be praying for. It's so easy for us to become unaware for all our blessings as they have become 'normal' to us and we feel entitled to them.

This STWW is a little tip for being grateful, happy and aware of all you have. My mom taught me this when I had a bad case of the winter blues: I was constantly unhappy in the winter months and so she told me that I should keep a notebook by my bedside and, every night, I must write down five things I am thankful for. They can be small things like waking up for work on time, having a delicious dinner, and seeing a friend, but it's the small things that we must be grateful for. 

So let's take a look at our lives each day and think what we should be thankful for. I'll start. Today I am grateful for:

1. My health
2. The warm bowl of oatmeal I had for breakfast
3. Having a job that may not always be fun but pays the bills
4. My mom's date cake
5. Having a gym membership for all that date cake I ate.

What are you grateful for? What are your 5 Small Things?

STWW: Charlie Hebdo and the Ridiculousness of Generalization

I'm going to start off this post by saying, of course, that I condemn and am horrified by the recent attacks in France. It's shameful and cruel that a couple of extremists are doing heinous crimes "in the name of Islam". I am a Muslim and I have to make it clear that their religion is not mine - I view my religion as a way of peace, of showing kindness and of making myself better (my STWW are inspired by my Islam) while they are abusing the name of Islam and using it to justify their sick and unjustifiable actions.

But I am also horrified by ignorant people who are looking at all Muslims as though it is our fault. Anyone in their right mind would condemn this brutal attack, why is it that Muslims have to specifically condemn it and apologize for it? Two mentally unstable individuals do not represent the thoughts, minds and actions of billions of people around the world. I would never expect all American males to apologize when a few mentally ill American males choose to gun down kindergartners and high school students. In fact, I would be enraged if someone expected something of that sort. People are more than just their religion and generalizing everyone of that religion, based on extremists and terrorists, is shameful.

I'm grateful that I haven't personally faced this sort of discrimination but my aunt, who has been living in America for decades and wears the hijab (head-scarf), was yelled at and had a waterbottle thrown at her as she walked on the street. My old, kind aunt who tries to feed everyone who comes into her home and has a warm smile and generous heart.

To keep things light, I'm going to hand it over to Aziz Ansari who tweeted the ridiculousness of this generalization best:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's remember to stay kind to one another, to never generalize and to try to see the good in everyone. It's not about "Us versus Them", it's not about religion and it's not about money- it's about humanity. Peace and love to ALL.

STWW: Fitness - Tips for Sticking To It

I realize my STWW posts are generally about making others' lives and the environment better (while hopefully enhancing your life along the way) so I wanted to do a post just for you. Exercise is not just great for your health but for your mind and mood as well! I'm sure many of you have decided to get fit for the new year and I'm hoping these tips help.

I really, really, really hated working. Really.

But as I get older, I'm realizing that I can't just eat anything I want, not work out and be healthy. I'm in my twenties and fatty foods no longer melt off my body. I couldn't walk up the stairs and talk at the same time without panting (I bring shame to my family). So I finally decided to join a gym and I've been going twice or three times ever since. And guess what: I love it!

Shirt - Adidas, Pants - Costco, Headband - Target, Shoes - Adidas

So who better to give you tips that someone who hated working out?

1. Do something you'll enjoy. I cannot stress this enough: if you hate your workout, you will not stick to it. You have to do something you enjoy and make working out something you look forward to. I hate running. I hate how my ears and jaws get cold, I hate people watching me as a puff along and I'm pigeon-toed so the insides of my feet would get painfully sore. So I don't run - it's that simple. The easiest and most fun way to start working out is by joining a class. The gym I joined has great Zumba, yoga and kickboxing classes and so I do that!

2. Start slow. You don't have to go to the gym every single day - you're allowed to have rest days and cheat days and lazy days. I go twice, maybe three times a week. And it's okay because I used to go no times a week and even my comparably small effort is huge.

3. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay if you can't work out as fast as everyone else - go at your pace and gradually build yourself up every workout. I'm probably a lot younger but a lot slower than many of the women there but I try not to compare myself or bring myself down. I push myself just a little harder each week and it really does get easier over time.

4. Do what's convenient. When choosing gyms, I was tempted by a gym that was a twenty minute drive away because it was significantly cheaper than my current gym (a two minute drive). But my mom reminded me that I'm not a huge fan of the gym in general and if I had to make more of an effort to get there, I wouldn't get there at all. And looking back, this was entirely right and the extra $15 a month was worth it.

Hopefully these tips help you start and stick to a healthier lifestyle! Let me know what tips you have for gym-bunny-wannabes!